...an attempt to dive deep within myself and listen to the calmness behind the ever-chaotic me...

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

filling in the void...


They say nature hates vacuum... and then what happens? something fills in...


These are the final few months of my two year stint at IIIT, I would agree these have been some of the satisfying years lived by me in complete consciousness. We all are assigned some thesis topic and we have to make some sense out of this topic. It may look difficult but the trick lies in how good you are at fooling your supervisor and his fellow friends. They expect us to publish papers in journals and they don't forget to mention that conference paper does not sound that impressive.

It seems to be a long semester. A month and half has passed and there is no sign of exit. Still I don't feel as if i have to rush through this time and start working for some company.
I have plenty of time here, the complete twenty four hours are mine and its up to me to waste it whatever way I like and for that exact reason I prefer to be awake the entire night and sleep by 8-9 in the morning. then @ 2-3 p.m. my day starts and to tell u the truth it feels refreshing...

...so wat do i do the whole night??? initally i watched a lot many movies. One day I had an over dose.. it happened like from 12 to 9 am i watched 4-5 movies... too much of movies that now i dont like watching em any more.. i prefer hollywood flicks..the latest one was "Stranger than fiction" and it lived up to its name... I later learned that some bollywood producer had already made a hindi version...

...I have a next door neighbour who happens to be my x-roommate and a good friend of mine, he updates me about all the hindi movies ever released on planet earth. He finds them very exiting and its useless to make him aware of the reality.. ny ways...
so wats new these days... some strange things.. Intrest in Indian classical music, Psychology Photography and tons of books to read.

Classical music -as if ghazals of Mehndi Hassan were not enough.. I had never thought i would listen to em but to tell u the truth if u are alone the entire night it's good sometimes.. I don't recommend it to every one cuz then u risk being insane.. people laugh, they make strange faces or simply walk out of the room on listening to em... i don't know why..its not funny i guess. I think i got one repellant to keep people away when I want.

The next thing is Psychology.. I bought this book by Sigmund Freud. Infact its a collection of 5-6 books. Its cryptic and was costed little over 800 grands...I mentioned the price here.. why??? I think Mr Freud may have an answer to it. Apart from it i also joined some discussion forums where people talk abt there Psychological problems... and guess what in almost 90% of the posts women have some role to play in the problems.. I prefer to be quiet in most of the discussion perhaps I have still a lot to learn from that fat book...

The next Big thing is Photography.. I got this canon camera.. Its not like the other poketsized cameras that i hate (reason being i find them too feminine) but its neither an SLR (which i now contemplate not buying)... But i can get some lenses (tele and wide converters) which apart from some functionality may also make my camera look like an SLR. To make an accurate assumption i have cliked almost 3000 pics from it since i got it on 8th dec 07... so much that now i get a special invitation from any birthday guy in our Masters batch and apart from that the I am also currently covering the college cricket competition.. and then share the pics @ my lab pc. And you know this is the most sensible and humane use of that machine which wore a deserted look 500 meters away from my hostel running from the date when it was first assigned to me.
For the starters there is a sports mode in the camera to click moving objects and for amateurs like me there is something like shutter speed that can be adjusted depending on the moving object to be captured.

And wat about other books. I buy them online or a good shop nearby. They have a lot to teach and in the worst possible case even if you are not learning.. they sill come handy...I sit in my room.. conserve my energy and eventually save the so called food of mess or I just remain calm...

The idea here is not to mention these mere activities. Moral of the story is neither that these are some wonderful hobbies ...

Perhaps what i wanna say is we all are passionate about some things or other.. apart from living my messed up schedule did I ever realized that i may find these things exiting.... perhaps not... Here comes the filling up the void thing. When we get some time in our chaotic lives no matter how little its up to us to fill it with something.. My friends have there own ways of filling it so do I.But do we all live our life realizing what our passions are ? Did we ever thought "Perhaps I should start playing the guitar this weekend for nothing being the reason?" or for that example "Hey! this book in the shelf talks about Philosophy, am I interested?"


...Perhaps we are always too busy to even "think" like this....


*** few years from now i would like to read this page again... ***

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these are not mere incidents or events that i make a note of.. these are my experiences..the Voices in my head, they may not be real...but they carry some good ides !!!

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