...an attempt to dive deep within myself and listen to the calmness behind the ever-chaotic me...

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

feelings of listlessness and discontent

After a series of sleepless nights, i woke up at 6 today. I have been sleeping 0100 hrs to 1900 hrs for the past few days and isn't it an weird time to sleep, but that's what I am all about being absurd. I went to the balcony and looked around. Fresh with a downpour every thing looked so wonderful. I wondered what I have been doing here for quiet some time now. I left all my books back at my home apart from DeBonos "Lateral Thinking". That's a nice book but is not suitable for the kind of mood i am in.

Life's so stupid and I want to be in it miserably. Doing nothing is so painful I desperately want to join the company and start working. I have started hating this emptiness now.. i want it to be filled with something constructive. There is this interview call pending that a consultant promised. She forwarded my resume and the company people didn't called so far that's making me anxious, but those things are beyond my control. All I can do is make myself a cup of tea and type on this keyboard.


I am not that kinds who sleeps-off on his problems. My problems make me worried doing something about them is an altogether different story. And these days i have learnt to Blog-Off my problems. I can read them again and remind me of they being still there.


The first is the thesis defence. I have to defend what I have did in the last 6 months of mine. But looking around I see people not worried about it and that makes me less worried too, peer-motivation you see. There were certain modifications to the code that were pending but they dont seem to be exciting enough. More importantly I don't see any rewards.


I have to yet to order my cam EOS 40D, buy external hard drive, get the thesis report hard binded, get my tickets done. That's too much of an asking.

Some of my friends have also left the college. I have tried to make new friends. The problem with people is they are unique, no one can take any ones place. They are simply not replaceable, at least for me its like that. I made so many good friends here. I am talking about the kind of friends you can count on. I am happy for that fact.
This old man was seen carrying his burdens with a stick doing the balancing act for him. This also my first attempt to use photoshop for such tricks I would have liked to make that bag on his head colored to highlight its importance. But it was not as colorful as his jacket :)



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these are not mere incidents or events that i make a note of.. these are my experiences..the Voices in my head, they may not be real...but they carry some good ides !!!

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